Thursday 23 November 2006

Martin Wisharts, Edinburgh Tuesday 14th November 2006 (Cold & Wet..Cheers Alan!)

How it all happened...

Alan was bestowed the "Honour" of organising the seventh annual "Chefs Eat Out" event this year. It was a grand time in Alan’s' life, the moment everyone of the group waits for. Having consumed enough alcohol at the previous gathering so as you are too drunk to deny the honour and even yourself thinking what a great idea it is, you gratefully accept and even get a little excited, that is until morning when the realization of what you have let yourself in for actually hits you, and you think "Pooh"! (Pooh is a translation from the chef’s vocabulary to layman’s terms!)

I am well aware of this rollacoaster ride of feelings of anticipation, will it be me, will it be me. To overwhelming emotions, Ah bless the guys have chose me, love you guys. To excitement, I am gonna out do the last gathering, I'll show you all how the daddy is at organising this event. (About now sobering up) To regret, why do I always drink too much and let myself be lured into this? To Denial, nah the guys were only joking, you'll see at breakfast, someone else will offer to organise next year’s dinner. To squirming out of it, no one is speaking up. I'll try. "So who did we agree would organise next years dinner" In synchronisation comes the response "YOU". To accepting the fact you were too drunk to ever stop this happening, it's your own fault and just get on with it!
You see, you would imagine it easy to organise, but alas no. You first of all have to choose a restaurant that will meet everyone’s expectations, because when the bill comes around for anything from £150.00 to £250.00 each the last thing you want to hear when you are back to the bar at the digs is "What a waste of money that was!"
You then have to arrange a date that fits into everyone’s hectic schedule. Then there are hotel rooms to organise where anything over £65.00 per night is seen as a waste of money which would have been much better spent on that other bottle of red wine that was 3 years older! Sometimes there are flights to book as well as hire cars. If we are going somewhere like Dublin or Edinburgh you also need to plan activities to keep the group entertained until it's time to get ready for dinner. It really is a huge headache. Like I said, I am well aware of this, I have organised 4 of the past seven dinners. Daren organised one and said he would never organise another, but that’s another story for later!

So there we all are, drunk at midsummer house when suddenly someone speaks up and offers the honour to Alan who drunkenly accepts (haha).

As the months pass Alan is "encouraged" to make a decision and start planning where we are going. After much contemplating he comes up with Martin Wisharts, Edinburgh's only Michelin starred restaurant and proud owner of 4 rosettes from the AA guide.
He also decided, being a keen golfer as am I, to book a round of golf for earlier that day to fill in the time before dinner. Golf divided by Scotland times November. Now I'm no Einstein. I was never any good at working out formulas. However, even my untrained eye can spot a huge floor in this formula! Being a strictly summer golfer and even the first sign of a breeze or shower will send me running to the comfort of the 19th hole, I knew this would never work!

So the eve of the dinner arrives and I opt to make the journey to Darens house near Birmingham as it would make more sense to fly together rather than me travel from a London airport. (Alan, as I should have mentioned, works as sous chef for Daren)

I arrive at Daren's house around 10.30pm and, as we don't see each other that often, begin catching up and drinking beer, a lethal combination with a 6am flight looming ever closer! We eventually call it a night around 1am and turn in.
After what felt like only a few hours the alarm clock sprung to life with an energy I am forever jealous of at any hour of the morning, let alone such an unearthly hour as 4am, hold on, it was only a few hours!! I dragged myself out of bed and dressed quietly as not to wake any members of Daren's young family. We made our way to the car and waited for Alan.

Alan arrived and of we set to the airport listening to My Chemical Romance at a volume high enough to wake the residents of every house we passed and at break neck speeds (always with in the speed limits Mr Policeman, it just felt faster due to the ridiculous hour!) so as to be in good time for our pending flights.

Arriving at the airport we lugged our cases and golf clubs across the long stay car park to the terminal building in a manner that reminded me of Planes, Trains and automobiles! We eventually arrived having sustained damage to our shoulders due to the weight of bags and proceeded to check in to our flight. At this point I would like to thank the members of check in at the Flybe desk for politely pointing out the difference to Flybe and Flybmi who were situated just round the corner!

Passports checked, luggage on the mysterious conveyer belt that always seems to know where your bags are going (well, mostly anyway) we were off to departures with 20 minutes to spare! Perfect timing, it's 5.40am, it won't be busy. Woops! At this point I would also like to thank the member of the departure team who very kindly allowed us to queue jump the many passengers patiently waiting in good time to be x-rayed ready for departure, unlike us!
Increasing the pace somewhat we made our way to the departure gate, or so we thought. At this point I would like to thank the nice lady on the tanoy system who informed us we were about to miss our flight, as well as the stewardess who pointed us back in the direction we had just come from to our correct gate!

After a short bus journey we were sat on the plane awaiting takeoff! 60 minutes of flight time and we were landing (very bumpily) on the Scottish tarmac at Edinburgh airport. We immediately looked out of the window to inspect current weather conditions for our forthcoming round of golf. A little drizzly but it was the wind factor that was worrying me. Now I'm not entirely sure how the good folk of Scotland measure the wind factor, but to me if I can see kilts blown up around the neck, and providing I have not strayed down an alley with a forbidding glow of red coming from all of the buildings nestled there, I call that bloody windy! But, I was assured it was simply breezy! Liars!

We collected our luggage without any incidents and finding a great labour - saving invention they call a "trolley" made our way to the hire car rentals to collect our pre booked car, a Ford Mondeo. Now this is another little ritual every year. You book a hire car slightly under the size you require but a little cheaper and then prey on the good nature of the girl sitting behind the desk, also, a little tip is to flirt outrageously and make her giggle! Giggling is a sign you are probably going to get the estate version that will fit all cases and three sets of golf clubs into, not to mention the two other group members you are to collect a little later during the day.

We found our estate car and off we went in search of the golf course. At this point I would like to thank Jenny, the friendly, soft spoken lady who lives inside so many Tomtom devices for putting us on the right path and taking us to the course without any mishaps whatsoever!

Paid up, shoes on and there we were on the 1st tee at Craigmiller Park Golf Course. (http://www.craigmillarpark.co.uk/)

We all teed off and made our way up the first fairway. Actually, although being a little cold it wasn't too bad. Wait a second, did I just feel rain? No, my mistake, it's a monsoon!
It rained like never before for the next two holes. It doesn't sound like much but believe me, it was. By the time we reached the 3rd tee I had proved that waterproof is a very broad term used for clothing donned by brave golfers during the winter months and doesn't actually do what it says on the tin, if you know what I mean?!

But all was not lost, by the 5th tee we had all dried out. No, don't be silly, the sun barely shines here in June let alone November, the wind had dried us out!!

So, we trudged around the course and actually had a really good time. The course was challenging with some fantastic holes. There is a lot of work being carried out there during the winter, and it looks like by summer it will be a course worth visiting. However, I am still not sure of it's worth the full price of £45.00 per round, that’s up to you. We got a discount due to one of the holes being unplayable because of the works and paid only £15.00 each a round. If any member of Craigmillar Park is reading and they come across any of the many golf balls I lost that day, could return them to me I would be very grateful!

Returning to the car, and removing the polite notice that had been attached to our hire car during the course of the round pointing out the thoughtless manner in which I had parked, we made our way back to the airport to collect Nigel.

Package on board and it was off to the hotel for a nice warm shower, a bite to eat and a glass of wine!

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